I'm a sociologist navigating the world of women who create networks of care wherever they go. These networks of women occupy a particular niche - they cross lines of class, ethnic origin and emotional and physical health. They intersect people's lives when a new social being emerges. They are there to be available for liminal support, because it was during this liminal period that something transformative occurred.
Another sociologist writes a book showing how assuming the work of breastfeeding; sustaining another life, physically, is costly in terms of time and energy and also rewarding in terms of having a satisfying relationship with another human. Often, that satisfaction translates back into their own, satisfying lives. They role model satisfaction. except they complain, too. They complain about not having enough support for themselves, but believing that every woman deserves it, and men too. And babies and children too.
But what does this support really mean? How does it manifest itself in everyday lives?
All this for another day. I must go forage for food at my local Trader Joe's and deposit a small check in our credit union account. Greasing the wheels of everday life. While my husband attempts to edit two research papers while both children also 'read' on the bed with him, the memory foam bed, that has cuddled and embraced us to lovely periods of sleep. We bought a king size. We are able to invest in our lives, and it is highly satisfying. It is why we work with others to insist that we know of a type of care that we believe is so vital, that it should be supported. We have to tell these stories, though, or the structures that support these satisfying relationship practices will be threatened. And indeed, they are. But we reach out online to share with others in other geographic communities the bounty of what we have. Sometimes it is a story in exchange for relationship. An american midwife in Malawi is having her story shared with doulas in the Pacific Northwest, and material and informational resources are now flowing between these network nodes.
It is a means to survival. To be a key provider of quality, satisfying care to others, is to offer value in the world. It is rewarded, not always by money, but but other key values, which must and do co-exist with real economic difference. I know Microsoft retirees and single mothers on the edge, full time workers and entreprenurial, hard working women. They are always thinking, engaging, they are not afraid to go into the liminal space where one body becomes two.
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